what a day.

sometimes i wish people knew how hard it took me to get where i am now.
i've learned that even though i acted like i was 100% confidant about what i was doing, i was certainly not. and i can't believe how incredibly stupid i was.
today in my philosophy class that is filled with sophomores and 2 seniors, i gave a mini lecture on the difference between knowing and thinking "thyself".. apparently i now sound like i've been on this planet for more than twenty years. a kid asked me what i meant and how i was so certain. all i could reply back is that "you kind of just know, which is ironic in a way."
i wake up every morning forcing myself because i figure the earlier i get up, the sooner i'll be back in this same bed dreading to wake up or a lovely little thing called paranoia.
i worry about too many things and i'm way too alert. last night, my neighbor turned on her AC and i was flipping out because i thought it was going to explode.
down the street someone's car alarm was going off.... something fell downstairs..... my dad's snoring which sounds like a hovercraft.... the dog downstairs...... the water dripping... the creek in the backyard...... the highway... the train tracks....
outside my window, people are constantly moving.